Tuesday, 16 March 2010

Dear dickhead

For the last couple of weeks I've been thinking how best to reply to the messages I received from my ex and his sister at the beginning of the month. Just ignoring them seems a bit defeatist. To me, that seems like it would give off the wrong impression. By leaving it this long to reply though might it look like I've over thought any reply I may send? It is too easy to allow myself to over think it. The thing is, I don't actually give a shit what either of them think so why does it matter if I even reply? In the future, Sophie and James will undoubtedly ask questions about that side of the family, and I want to be able to tell them the truth so I don't want to be the bad guy in all this.

This is the original message I received from Scott (literally copied and pasted from Facebook so you can see how much effort he didn't put in):

hi...alison! long time since we ave spoke....i did look 4 u on facebook and other sites but cudnt find u! u changed ur number + i have no address 4 u and kids! good 2 c u all look well in the photo! james looks identical 2 me when i was little, also i see sophie's face is alot better now. thats good 2 c. i do think of sophie and james all the time! u may not believe that, but its true. could u please contact me back? give my love 2 the kids please! thankyou

My ideal reply:
Dear Dickhead,
I know you looked for me previously on Facebook: I used to have a functioning profile tracker so I had seen that you'd been nosing where you're not wanted. You're perhaps not as thick as I remember though as you did at least block me from your profile which subsequently prevented me from blocking you. So there you go, in the first line of text you've bothered to write to me in nearly two years you're lying already. Not a great start is it?
As far as the fact that you have no number or address for me and the kids goes, when I moved last I made sure to pass my mum's address on to your sister, so any cards or presents (unlikely, I know) that any of your family wished to send to Sophie and James would reach them. I am perfectly entitled to keep my own privacy and not pass on my home address or new phone number.
I am going to ignore your comments regarding how the children are looking, along with the statement "i do think of Sophie and James all the time"; otherwise the screen would soon fill up with phrases like "none of your business", "total bollocks" and "how you can even...".

Passing on "love" to my children from someone who is basically a total stranger to them seems rather inappropriate, so I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request.

What I'll probably send:
I'm not sure what sort of response you're actually expecting after that message. I'm contacting you back but believe I am justified in being guarded about information regarding the children. They are both happy and healthy: that's probably more information than you deserve.
(Hang on that's starting to revert to the "what I'd like to say" version - this is harder than I thought.)

I'm going to have a rethink.

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